Chase: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. This was said by Charles Swindoll, also known as Chuck. He’s a renowned author, radio broadcaster, and former seminary president.
Taylor: So yeah, just to give a little intro here, I knew the name Charles Swindoll growing up in the south. Previous to getting on here, we played a little game of dead or alive, and he is still alive. I would have gotten that one wrong. I thought he had passed us by. But anyway, I did not know this quote was from him. So I think it’s certainly an interesting one.
And I think from a standpoint of whatever kind of medicine you’re in, so much of your day is nothing you can really control at all. And this quote’s probably very applicable because 90% or more of it is how you react to it, which is a good sports analogy too. So, anyway.
Chase: Yeah, I mean I think about the inherent things that we don’t control on a day-to-day basis. We don’t control the electronic medical record we’re in. You’re not going to control if the case has an add-on for some reason. You’re not going to control if something in your case isn’t there and you’re going to have to be able to respond to it. And so that response, which I know is I think a Michele term that she likes to use more than react, is certainly something that I think we deal with every day. And really, moment to moment, you’re controlling your response to that.
And I think one thing that I’ve learned more and more from doing this is that people are watching how you respond. As a leader of a team, as someone that patients are looking to, as someone the other team members are looking to, ultimately your response, whether that’s a calm demeanor versus a panic which is what you may be feeling internally, is probably going to set the tone for not just how your day goes but how your patient days go as well as the rest of your team is looking to you. So. Michele, what do you want to add to that?
Michele: Yeah, I know, so much. That was beautifully said. And I think first of all, I want to comment on as the leader of the team, how you present is so important to how the rest of everybody else responds. And this quote is very interesting to me. I think it’s powerful. Yet, what I really would like to say is that I coach on the fact that we only control two things in life. We control our thoughts, and we control our responses.
And so when it’s like 90% of how we react to something, reaction is always coming from fear. So if you see somebody in reaction, whether it’s you, a patient, or a team member, you know that person, unless they’re trying to save a life, which you guys are doing all the time. But just in our daily round, if you see reaction, you know that person’s coming from fear. So the human part of us, our human minds, allow us to decide on purpose and think ahead of time. And that’s response.
And so I would love to take Charles’s words and say, life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond rather than react. I just think response is so important.
Taylor: Yeah, and that’s no disrespect. I’m sure it’s Dr. Swindoll, maybe even. He might even be an associate doctor of some sort.
Chase: I’m pulling up the Wiki.
Taylor: I guarantee you this guy’s got a doctor with something on his name, different from what we do, but I agree with Michele. I think breaking down this quote, 90%, the 90%’s the important part, but it is a response and if you can respond and not react, that’s that’s critical. And it’s like a very simple, the words are so close but they’re they’re just vastly different.
And I think one of the things thinking about this quote for me was, the 10%, like working harder and trying harder doesn’t change the 10%. It’s still going to, all the stuff that encounters that you encounter during your day, you can’t change that. What you can change is the bigger piece of the pie, your response to it. And that’s a very comforting thing because, like when, for me at least, certain cases are longer, shorter, harder, easier, more routine, more complex. And the more the temperature in the room goes up, the more your mind slows down, your thoughts slow down, the way you portray yourself to your team slows down. And that’s all your response. That’s all the 90%. And that’s what I love about what I do, is like that’s a really gratifying thing to feel like you’re not only bettering what you’re doing, but also helping your team perform better by really mastering that response, especially in stressful situations that as a physician…
Michele: Exactly.
Taylor: You’re going to, it’s just very easy in our profession, no matter whether you’re a surgeon, you’re in clinic, you’re dealing with hospital administration, somebody pops off and says something kind of weird, you can just respond in like a total totally controlled, thoughtful manner that will set you, will set yourself apart not only with your team, but really amongst most of your colleagues because physicians, I mean, how many physicians, Chase, have you seen in the lounge that just are losing their mind with administration or losing their mind to another consulting service, just acting like a total child.
Chase: Oh, for sure.
Taylor: And it’s like, I mean, it’s like physicians are probably some of the worst with this.
Chase: No, I think I’m so glad you said that though, because that’s exactly where my mind was going, was like the flip side of this.
Taylor: I wasn’t going to say that.
Chase: Yeah, we’re talking about all the positive response, but you we really, physicians have a medical degree in complaining, right? And I, again, am not infallible. I’ve certainly have been this, right? You have had a case that kind of goes wrong, you’ve had a patient added on, they’re showing up late, you’re having a complication with something. There’s all, I mean, every day there’s an example of this. And you’re exactly right, how many times do you go in the lounge and someone’s just losing their mind or losing their mind even worse in the hallway or at the wherever the computers are where you’re doing your charting and stuff. You’re having a phone call, you’re getting off, and you’re being frustrated.
And I think certainly there are plenty of inherent things that are difficult to deal with, but they’re just that. And certainly there are I think more positive routes you can take to try to change those structural things. But everyone around you is watching you, right? Everyone, the patient, and often times physicians are usually stepping aside a little, at least letting the door close before that kind of comes out. But and it’s not, and it’s okay to vent about those things, and I think this is this is a place to do that within a brotherhood, right, where you’re having some, and we’ve had plenty of phone calls, personal phone calls, where we’re doing that. We are not perfect by any means.
Taylor: Yeah.
Chase: But man, how much of a difference does it make to respond in the right way and then decompress somewhere else as opposed to being that guy who is just losing it with everyone around you watching? And I think that you often times, as a young physician, I didn’t realize everyone’s watching me, right? They’re looking to you for their cues, and you’re losing it in front of them. It’s kind of like a coach going ballistic on the sideline, right?
Michele: Well, I like what you said about the decompressing because it’s like honestly, since response versus reaction is such a huge part of what I coach on, I mean, it rarely does, it almost always comes up in a coaching session. And because we’re humans and we all, despite when you’re working with high achievers, these are very reactive people typically. But what I have found is if we can get to this place where we really, it’s all about self-awareness, it’s always all about catching ourselves in the moment. And that just comes with reps. That just comes with us practicing responding versus reaction.
But when we get to that place, Chase, I think it’s fascinating what you said about the decompressing, is that if you will slow down and pause and realize that you have the opportunity to think on purpose, like truly think on purpose and respond on purpose rather than just letting it out, is that you don’t have to decompress. Because you have done that in the moment. And I’m not saying that you won’t think about it and might not get riled up outside the space, but honestly, if you do that in the moment, your need for decompression is going to you’re going to find it so much less because reaction brings up hormones coursing through your body and thoughts and all the things. It’s like, you don’t have to work on the decompression, which is life-saving to me. It’s like staying out of reaction is just keeps us so much more even.
Taylor: So, I think one of the things breaking down this quote with you guys really illustrates to me is the 90% is partly for you. But as a physician that’s leading a team, the 90% of your response is really so instrumental and impactful to the people around you. That is a concept that if current Taylor could talk to former Taylor when he was in medical school or, gosh, residency first three years when I was just an absolute madman, I could have really had that sit down and I probably could have only heard it from myself.
I’ll give you an example, and I’m not going to name the hospital, but the one, the big time administrator, starts with a C, ends with an MO, supposed to be somebody that’s this big medical leader at this hospital. And I just am in the hospital doing a few cases. I don’t usually see these people. I’m not employed by the hospital, so I don’t work with them directly, but indirectly at their facility. I’m just like passing them in the hallway. We’re like walking, in a direction, and he’s like, supposed to be somebody who, probably puts on a good front to all physicians and nurses and whoever he runs into at the hospital.
And he looks at me and he says, “Hey man, are you hanging in there?” And I looked at him and I was like, “Man.” I was like, “I sure hope I’m doing better than hanging in there.” Like, I love what I do. Like, this is going to be a good day. And I’m just thinking about like this guy in a huge leadership role leads with a loser quote in my mind of, “Are you hanging in there?” Yeah, I sure hope I sure hope I’m doing more than hanging in there.
Michele: I hope that if you’re doing surgery on me, you’re doing more than hanging in there.
Taylor: Yeah, and but it’s like it’s like the Garfield cat, he’s just hanging. Yeah, yeah, but it’s like if I just like sometimes have a bad day and show up and like, the people that are shooting x-rays in clinic and the person I’m working with that’s rooming the patients, if I’m just having that kind of a response or really reaction, man, how like because I didn’t even really care. I don’t even work with it. It’s like I’m like you got to be, you just got to do better than that, right?
But it’s like his ability to say something like that and then me kind of thinking about these things because we unpack them and what not, you really can see how, especially with the people that you work with on your team, man that 90% of what you control and respond to is just so critical towards how they view whether they were successful that day, how they go home, stressed out, like they are running on a treadmill they can’t keep up. Or if it’s like, “Wow, I don’t know what it was about that day, but it was good. Like that was, I could do that again.” And I think I am so grateful though that I have a job where you can do that. That’s like a, you kind of, you captain your ship.
Michele: You determine that.
Taylor: Yeah, you can you can run it right into an iceberg or, you know, you can, you know, keep it in smooth waters. It’s just it’s it’s crazy to me that it’s it’s that simple.
Chase: Yeah. Speaking on the example theme, I’ll give you guys, I don’t think I’ve spoken with either one of you about this yet. So this will be, we’ll see your reactions and how I did. But you know, there was a day this week where I was having a really strong day in clinic. I had a good preparation for my patients. Every patient’s closing notes, kind of everything going very smoothly. And I’m getting close to lunchtime, I got a call from my wife, which happens at times, but this was the third time she called me, which does not happen, right? So this is like I’m looking at my phone, I’m trying to finish this encounter, but my phone is buzzing in my pocket three times.
So, finish up, wrap up the encounter, go talk with her. Child’s fallen. My little girl who’s three months has fallen. She needs me to be home. So I, all of the sudden, I’m feeling all these internal feelings of like reaction and panic, right? Was able to kind of finish up with the last patient I had, was able to work with my team and getting some patients rescheduled so I could go home a little early to check on my daughter, which is obviously the most important thing of that, you know, medicine’s important, but family’s more important to me.
So, you know, get home and she’s fallen, she looks okay, but we needed to go to the ER, right? And so on that way home, I took a moment to call a colleague, another physician, just to talk with her about this so I could because it’s tough to be objective about your kid, right? At least I can’t be. And I was like, “This is kind of the situation.” I’m stressed, right, but I want to go home and I need to be stable for my family. My likely wife’s going to be upset, my kids are going to be crying. Like all these external variables where I cannot control anything are at work, right? But I need to go home and do that.
And so having that conversation, you know, helped me get some of my anxiety out, talk with somebody, and then get home and at least kind of put on the brave face, right? Control that response that at this moment, even if I’m scared, I’m worried about my girl, I need to be, my wife’s more scared. I know my son’s upset. So, everything turned out to be just fine, went to the ER, had to reschedule my afternoon clinic, but everything was okay, right? And certainly there could have been a situation where it wasn’t that, but I thought that was a pretty good example of a response that I did okay and there have been plenty of times where I have not done okay and I’ve come in and, you know, had that more of a panic reaction. But I think my family appreciated it and certainly hopefully my patients understood that hey, something had to change. But I know that we are physicians, but we’re also people, right? And so I thought that was a good example that I’ve been thinking about recently that something unforeseen happened. Everything’s going smoothly until kind of it’s not.
Michele: I’m so glad your daughter’s doing fine, but I want, I just really want to applaud you in the fact that your pause in this moment, you’re going from reaction because you see that phone call, you get, you talk with your wife and you are scared, you of your own admission, scared, reactive, all the things. Your pause was on the way home, reaching out to someone that could give you some information and help you be objective so that you could be in response when you landed rather than in reaction, which is how you felt going into that call. So, that is that’s a perfect example of response versus reaction and, 90% of how you react and what I would offer is respond to something. And that’s that’s a beautiful example. And your pause, and it’s always about for me in this situation finding the pause, was making that phone call and getting your head straight before you entered the space where you knew it was going to be chaotic.
Chase: Yeah. And I and I think it’s it’s not easy, right? But like and I can give you countless examples of me like, you know, kind of running around the clinic trying to find a room to open when you’re behind or trying to get caught up of feeling that kind of panic. And so I really think it’s, it takes those lessons, right? And I like I said, if we could go back to younger versions of ourselves, I think there are plenty of things, but the reality is you kind of have to live it, right? I think to really truly understand, you know, the day in and day out and all some of that comes with experience. But I think, I’m grateful for each other that we’ve had in this, us three together to be able to kind of run things off each other because I think that’s extremely helpful for us to be able to grow as physicians and as humans.
Taylor: Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, my uh, one of my grandfathers used to always say, “Some lessons are, you know, free and some you got to pay for yourself.” I think what I would add…
Michele: I love that quote.
Taylor: What I would add to that though is you don’t have to learn them over and over and over again.
Michele: No. That’s exactly right.
Taylor: You can learn them once or twice and then get it right the next time. And so, um, yeah, I, gosh, I could write a, a pretty long textbook on things that I wish former Taylor had uh, had known that current Taylor does. But…
Michele: Well, you know, you’re young enough to, you’re young enough to redirect and that’s the beautiful part.
Taylor: Yeah. And I think that I love Chase’s example. I mean, first question is like, why didn’t you call your orthopedic surgeon best friend? That’s tough to say. It seems like…
Michele: Why didn’t you call your coach?
Taylor: Why didn’t you call your coach? I mean, again, we’re thinking that, but no, I mean, it’s uh, I think too, it’s a it’s nice. Those are scenarios especially when, you know, that like for you at least, like what I would have envisioned is like it helps to like that drive home. You know, you kind of, you have an ability to kind of prepare yourself. So it’s like in the in the moment, it’s a little harder when you’re responding and like, you know, it’s it’s, you don’t necessarily have that organic pause of the ride home, but like that same concept is awesome, you know, because like in that scenario, and there would be plenty of scenarios where your wife would play the leader in a scenario that you would be the opposite, right? It just so happened like you were kind of coming into it like that.
And I just think like panic and anxiety, they never ever make anyone perform better, but they definitely don’t make you perform better. And so it’s like in a scenario in medicine where you are leading a team and you are taking care of other people, it’s so important to, I love how Michele says, take the pause. Just like you have like, you have the ability to pause. Like you don’t have to like know the answer immediately, have your response already cooked up and ready to go. And what seems like a three second pause might seem like an eternity.
Michele: Exactly.
Taylor: You’re really just, you’re going to make everything so much better to follow. And I just like, I don’t know, I actively thinking about that though, and literally thinking about it every day before you start whatever it is clinic OR, it goes a long way, because once that one, that first thing, once the ball bounces the wrong direction once, how easy is it to let it keep ping ponging? And then by noon, I’ve said this a thousand times. I’ve looked at my medical assistant and I’ve said, “Phew, it’s just one of those days.” You know? But you can also say, “Hey, it’s just one of those days, but you know what? We’re bouncing back.” You know, we’re turning it, we’re we’re we’re staying, we’re keeping it, we’re keeping it. And it’s like even just like phrasing it differently like that goes a long, long way. Because that’s just life. You know, it’s just like it’s such a, how boring would it be though if it was predictable? You know, you knew exactly what you’re going to do every day.
Michele: Yeah, no. It’s like, you know, and I would say, by the grace of God, I’m not a frequent flyer as a patient, yet being in this profession and you know, now the work that I’m doing with you guys, as a patient, I am very observant of, you know, I take in a lot of information like from the front desk to walking back, you know, walking back to my room with, you know, with the nurse or whatever. And it is very interesting how those little interactions, you know, watching whether a doctor reacts or responds, you know, the look that they give a PA or, you know, somebody that’s assisting them. It is, and you know, just their demeanor, I can’t stress enough from the from my vantage point how important that is and how it changes everything in terms of how the pace, you know, the patient perception. So I would just offer that as well. You know, you really are the leader. And, Taylor, exactly what you said, three seconds, you know, in a conversation, a three second pause sometimes can seem like an eternity and it can buy you so much. You know, it can buy you so much uh, positivity in just taking that time.
Chase: I mean, I think it allows you to dictate the terms, right, as opposed to everything being dictated to you, right? Like just taking that brief moment.
Michele: Oh, I like that. Yes.
Chase: Because and it takes the repetition, I think it’s important Taylor said too, it’s something I think you have to think about every day because you’re right, you know, you’re you’re humans, right? We are going to say things at times when you’re feeling frustrated, but taking that pause, I think allows, you know, the game to kind of come to you, right, as opposed to you having to just react to everything going around you. And I think one thing that you said, Michele, that I think’s really poignant, in my example, right, I got to live both lives that day of being a physician and then being a patient with my daughter, right?
Michele: That’s true.
Chase: But you think about, you know, if I’m having a bad day as a physician, I’m behind on charts, I’m dealing with difficult cases, maybe I’m having some other things that are going on. But the patients often times scared, right? They’re coming to you sometimes the worst days of their life, right? And so, you know, I think we’re blessed to get to have this role to get to provide this care to people, and it really is that a privilege. And certainly every day does not feel like that, and I think it’s very okay to feel like that, but the patients are coming there because they’re needing something from you, they’re vulnerable. And so portraying that demeanor to them even when often times you’re not feeling it, have to deal with things on your own, I think’s really important. But I think that the three second pause, some pause, as well as that repetition because otherwise it’s just not natural, right? You’re naturally going to enact in kind of a fear-based uh, mindset.
Michele: And it reads. That’s how it’s read. Exactly.
Taylor: So I guess, as we play ourselves out, let’s not just hang in there.
Michele: Yeah. Let’s don’t. We’re about we’re more excellent than that.
Taylor: Yeah, life’s better than like hanging in there.
Chase: Don’t let your daily mindset be a bumper sticker.
Taylor: Yeah, and I think I… Oh, that’s a good one. Yeah. We’re we’re going to send a letter to Dr. Swindoll. I make sure he corrects from reaction to response.
Michele: Oh gosh.
Taylor: I think this is just like a very, this mindset as it pertains to our altered version of this quote, it really is such a, I don’t know, it fills my cup up so much because it’s just, the I mean, if you just look at the quote, you know, the 90% is everything. Oh yeah. And you control all of that. You know? And I don’t…
Michele: You yeah, you do control that because that’s your thoughts.
Taylor: Yeah, and I think that’s uh, gosh, that’s totally, I mean, I can even like look at myself the way I would get worked up in a really busy clinic year one versus now year five, when you’d have somebody calling from the hospital, something’s not right with a patient in a room. And like, you know, you get anxious, you get worked up, you don’t respond well. Now, my ability to do that as a year five physician versus a year one, it makes it just so much more enjoyable.
Michele: Think about how many more people you’re seeing in year five.
Taylor: And Michelle’s perspective from a coaching point of view is awesome, but her perspective as a patient and how that is something that, knowingly or unknowingly, it results in someone thinking they had a good or bad encounter.
Michele: Oh, gosh.
Taylor: I just think it’s, it’s the opposite though. I would have flipped these numbers naturally, like my human reaction would have had these the opposite, right? I would have wanted to be 90% what happens to me because I think I can control that, but it’s just not. It’s it’s the exact opposite.
Michele: You think about it too, guys, is like, you know what you know the severity of the cases that are that you’re seeing in a day, but to that patient, what they’re going through is the worst thing you’re going to see that day because that’s, you know, that’s them and that’s how they’re they’re not thinking about the 15 other patients you’ve seen before them and what you were dealing with them. It’s like, “My situation is horrible. I’m scared and I need you to fix it.” And walking in with that calm, you know, in charge, in control, confident and non-reactive demeanor is everything.
Chase: Love it. Chase, play us out of here.
Well, this has filled my cup up and so hopefully, it has given our listeners something as well. If they’d like to learn more, visit us at www.mindshiftmdcoaching.com. We look to see you next time. Thanks, guys.
Michele: Bye.
Taylor: See ya.
Chase: Thanks for listening. If a fellow physician came to mind while you were listening, send them this episode. And if you want to take this further than just a podcast can go, find more content and coaching at mindshiftmdcoaching.com.
